Last Desperate Cry

This is an appeal to the eternal court of Random, to the grand chain of universal happenings, an appeal for my soul, for my happiness. I share it hoping that maybe the answer lies in you.

I feel my life’s elapsing,
Or maybe I’m the one collapsing;
Anyway, it’s just exaggeration,
Though it tastes like suffocation.

No matter how hard I try,
Happiness just seems to fly
Away from me, and I die
Knowing my life’s a lie…

All I ask is ‘Why?’
Why must it be this way?
Why is my soul dry?
Why am I in disarray?

There is TV, there’s the net,
A whole industry to entertain,
But somehow all that
Can’t smother this pain.

Despite all my friends,
I can’t find peace,
Joy never lasts, suffering never ends,
I never had that first kiss…

Even though I pretend
I’m happy and life goes on,
I will always understand
My life is incomplete and wanton.

Where are you?
Why can’t I find you?
Why do others live and I don’t?
I want you to come, but you just won’t…
When will happiness save me
From this torment?
Come, like rain in a torrent,
Bathe me, crush me, lift me,
Show me, rape me, take me!

And then again, even if you do
Will I find peace, will I be
Complete, will a new
Me arise, or will you simply dissolve me?

For all this I suffer,
Not knowing, walking around blind.
Please don’t destroy me, be kind,
Oh Random, spare this wretch…